I’ve decided to get rid of this tumblr. This is supposed to be a relaxing social media output for me, and is instead turning into a depressing habit with very little social return.
If you really want to, I’ll still be posting on my other tumblr, kristinillustrates, since most (not all, and for those few i thank you) people seem to think that my sole redeeming quality is art making, and even then i’m not that popular.
I’ll be deleting this account by tomorrow night.
After deliberation and talking to my fiance, he’s going to keep the name and password hidden from me so I don’t have to worry about it anymore and i’ll still have this as an archive.
You know people are morons, yet worry about people’s opinion of you. That’s like constantly judging your body in a mirror from a funfair.
I’m so glad I’m marrying someone who won’t lock me up in a padded room when I start gushing to him about making my own custom brushes in Photoshop…
Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.